At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize
