we're blogging at a bar
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
