When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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