@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
