so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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