I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
