literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
