I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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