I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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