I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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