Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
