I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
