His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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