Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
