would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
