So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
