so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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