he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
