she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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