Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
