Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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