If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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