which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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