Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
