she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
