im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
