I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
