Plan B is the new Plan A
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
