I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
