all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
