at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
