this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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