You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
