Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
