I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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