He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
