Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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