There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
