Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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