He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
