Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
