Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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