I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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