Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
