It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
