What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
