we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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