Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
