Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
