i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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