She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
