Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
